Baby Animals

Today during bedtime, kids were still a bit too active. To calm them down, I decided to play a game of baby animals with them. Rules are simple : I give each kid an animal and they tell me what the little one for that animal is called. I went through the usual set and thought hard about what the kids may not know. Sanju who had that "I know everything" look was an easy target when I thought of something. "What is a baby swan called ? ", I asked her knowing very well she wouldn't know the answer. "Ugly duckling" came a very confident reply.

Curse of over-diagnosis

Last week Prem dragged me to "Road Runner" to make me a buy a pair of running shoes. If you are not familiar with this place, this is how it works:

You sign-in and wait in line to be "evaluated". When an advisor is ready, he first makes you to walk across a sensor pad which coverts your step into a "foot map" of pressure points. This tells them exactly how you apply pressure when you walk. Then they make you walk on a treadmill and video tape that. The specialist now micro analyzes exactly how you use your legs to evaluate your posture, position and pressure. Finally they measure your feet and give you the "final verdict" which includes the type of shoes that is just right for you. Following this, they will be happy to fit you with the "perfect" shoe, completely conforming to the diagnosis they made. Of course, all of this for a hecty price tag.

So despite the kids showing signs of restlessness, I waited for my turn and went through the grand ritual, patiently listening to the guy telling me how I am not exactly walking straight when I use my left leg, how I apply too much weight on my toes in my right foot and so on. After a few minutes I got my "evaluation sheet". There I was labelled and categorized ; I am no longer just a person with big feet, but now I am a "neutral 8.5 D with a recommendation of medium arch insole on my left". With the circus finally done, I met Prem who was ready with his own report card.

As I proceeded to the display of shoes to figure out what the price tag for my category would be, my ever negotiating, deal making, "shrewd enough to know that 3 side orders of eggs is cheaper by a dime than a 3-egg omlette" husband quickly ushered me to the back side of the building, assuring me we can find the same shoes (which by the way, I figured would cost in $80-$100 range) at a much lower cost in the clearance section.

This infamous clearance section was nothing like the front end of the store. It was a dinky warehouse with several racks of shoe boxes all somewhat mixed up. I went to the first rack and much to my relief saw several 8.5s. The price seemed decent. I asked the guy who was arranging these if these were "D"s and he eagerly nodded. So I opened up several of them to find something I liked. Half way through this, something made me take the shoes and my "report card" to the guy at the cash register. He said "Sorry ma'm, these are "B"s, you need a "D". I was disappointed but having invested so much time, I was determined to find my perfect "sole" mate and started checking all the racks. If it was a "8.5 neutral", it wasn't a "D". If it was a "8.5D", it wasn't a "neutral". I quickly realized I do not have normal feet at all...There was nothing there that fitted my exact description. I bumped into Prem, who didn't seem to be having much luck with his own diagnosis either. He graciously decided to suspend his own search temporarily and help me instead. After some effort he found a box that matched my specs. I tried them on. They fitted okay but kind of looked weird. I took it to the counter only to realize they were Men's shoes. The search was on again... Prem finally found another box. These WERE women's shoes and exactly fitted my description. Bingo!! I was thrilled. I eagerly opened it, tried the left one on. It was a good fit. I walked around with it and decided to put on the other shoe to be doubly sure. The other shoe looked strange. I took a closer look and realized that this box had " 2 left shoes". I was ready to SCREAM. The kids by this time had completely lost it. They decided to play "shoe store" and managed to open up several random boxes and mix them all up. Sanju was insisting that Sahana try on some shoe, which she refused. Sahana started running around the store and Sanju was chasing her, screaming and crying for her to come back, with one shoe in her hand. I was helplessly watching them with the box of "2 left shoes" still in my hand. By this time, Prem had quietly given up on mine and went ahead with his own futile search.

This is when the "enlightenment" struck...What is this obsession with micro analyzing every thing we do? As human beings, are we not allowed a decent standard deviation from the "norm"? Why should every facet of us be "binned" and "labelled"? I was tired of all this over analysis and over diagnosis. I am just a normal person (ok, I admit I have big feet) looking for a simple pair of sneakers and I refuse to make this a rocket science experiment. With this new found realization, I went back to the boxes of "8.5"s and "9"s and just started trying them on. After a couple of tries I found a pair that looked good. I tried them on, walked around : Fitted just fine and it was just $20. Refusing to take another look at this box to figure out the exact specifications of this pair, I proudly carried that to the counter, paid up and left, remembering to toss my "8.5D neutral med-high arch on the left" report card into the nearest recycling bin. To h@?? with their diagnosis : I found my perfect pair!!

PS: To complete my story, Prem did not want to settle, he did cough up close to full price to buy his pair of perfection...

Capitilaization of religion (Prem's post)

Ramana Maharishi spent a good part of his life at Arunachala hill in Thiruvanamalai. Thiruvanamalai is 4 hours by car from Chennai, and throngs of people go there on full moon days and walk around Arunachala hill hoping some of his magic would rub off on them. I have read his biography, and it talks about some interesting places including caves that Ramana Maharishi used to meditate. Ramana Maharishi was foremost a yogi, and practised and preached self realization methods. He was not a religious person, and there used to be a Shiva temple at the foothills of Arunachala hill that he used to occasionally visit. The walk is 14 km and is mostly flat as you walk around the hill. My parents go there every full moon day, and do this walk. I have always wanted to go there, and the full moon day this month happened to be the day after I landed in Chennai. This was a special full moon "Chitra Pournami", and apparently this is when moon is closest to earth. I didn't think I would have time in this trip and asked my parents to go ahead. Since I was here for just a week, my parents decided to skip it this month. I felt bad that they were missing out on this because of me. I attended Vanitha's sister's seemandham the following morning, and didn't have anything to do after that. On a whim, I suggested to my parents that we leave to Thiruvanamalai right then. They jumped on it right away, and Vanitha's dad was gracious enough to arrange a car with a driver for us. We were off for a four hour drive to Thiruvanamalai.

It was really hot (40 C plus) and humid in Thiruvanamalai, and we got there at 5:30 PM. There was no parking available and we had to leave our car 1 KM away from the start of the walk. There were people everywhere, even by Indian standards, and everyone was pushing/shoving to get to the start of the walk. The place was similar to most temple towns with narrow streets with walls of houses demarking the streets and half the street space taken by street vendors and cows. The cows would cause temporary congestion and people would shoo/kick away the cows. This narrow street led us to the front of aforementioned Shiva temple, and the crowd at the entrance of the temple was ten times more ( there are a few streets that lead to this point). There were policemen directing pedastrian traffic and occasional moron who decided to drive through this road. By now, there was barely room to stand and people were elbowing, pushing, and shoving to get around. My parents decided the temple was too crowded and darshan would take atleast four hours. I was all excited to start the walk when my parents dragged me in a different direction. Around me there were shops selling everything...trinkets, religious stuff, food, food, and more food. There were street vendors who took care of your slippers when you went into the temple. My parents stopped by one of these vendors and removed their slippers, and it dawned on me that we are supposed to walk without slippers. My dad assured me that there is a nice road which is cleaned everyday. By now, I was sweating buckets and, with no way out, decided to go with the flow.

The trail (actually broad well paved road that can support two way traffic), if you can stretch your imagination, had more people. As I was walking people behind me would be kicking my ankles, and I passed the favor to those walking in front of me. You couldn't even stretch your hand as you walked. My dad was confident that the crowd will thin down soon, but I didn't see any hope of it. We had walked barely 0.5 KM and my feet were hurting. I think my dad's notion of "clean" differs from mine. There were no trash on the roads, but there were a lot of stones, mostly small ones with occasional half pounder. It felt like you were having a session of acupunture, and if you stepped on one of the bigger stones the pain was much worse. The first 1.5 km was along the temple and the stores were stationary ones, as opposed to the mobile ones in a cart. Every other store was either a small restaurant serving idli, dosa, puri, and coffee or a public toilet (apparently there are no toilet's along the walk), and between the stores were temples. After the first 1.5 km, the mobile ones took over seamlessly and instead of the toilets you had everything under the sun sold here.

The temples came in all sizes from tiny ones standing on a small pillar with a oil lamp in it to the Shiva temple whose length was atleast one km. The temples covered the entire spectrum of deities too. It was interesting when my dad said that these temples seem to growing in size and number everytime he comes here. There were atleast a few hundred temples along the way, and most people would walk into most of them. I could see a priest in every temple collecting money that was donated by everyone stepping into the temples, and seemed to be the most guaranteed business around.

As you walked, your senses are exposed to a broad spectrum from hot vadas, dosas, chicken biryani, soups ( I have never seen soups sold in this fashion before), chaat, juices, tender coconuts, and occasional sewer, besides every male's body odor (Interestingly, all the women had lots of flowers in their head and the scent of the flowers overwhelmed other odors around them). After some time I noticed that most of the food stalls were operating like a chain, these guys had the same uniform and had the same menu. I couldn't figure out if they were centralized beyond that, as they were cooking right on the street with big vessels using wood and coal.

The shops around were interesting. There were the usual trinkets selling plastic stuff for five and ten rupees. There were shops selling things for puja, pictures of deities,etc. Then there were a bunch of smaller yogi's advertising their services (don't know what services), and these guys had big microphones that was constantly blaring (btw, food stalls also used these microphones to advertise).

As we walked my legs were getting used to the pain, and crowd never relented till the end. It took us around six hours to finish the walk(around midnight). I was disappointed that all I could see of Ramana Maharishi was a small ashram where he lived (it was a nice ashram and worth visiting, he lived in a stand alone room which was around 8 by 7 feet with just a cot and a chair). There was no way to explore Arunachala hill or see some of the caves or trees that Ramana Maharishi used to meditate. I couldn't figure out why so many people came there. It seemed a largely lower segments (in financial terms) of the population with a lot of younger people. They seem to be doing it for the sake of doing it.

The broad setting was very nice for the walk. This was a small town with very little industrial pollution, a long easy hike on a full moon night, with temperatures slowly dropping into the night, with occasional puffs of wind. But you could hardly enjoy it with the mini microphones blaring at you constantly, and your feet screaming at you. There were some cows on this trail too, probably the same ones I saw at the beginning, and were now treated as "god" with people feeding and gently "rubbing" them. I could not get a good answer on why full moon days are auspicious for this walk. If Ramana Maharishi saw this place now, I doubt he would hang around. He spent a few years without saying a word, and gave up worldly things at the age of 16, and just wore a loin cloth for most of his life. I went there hoping to see a peaceful and serene place, but what I saw was unabated capitalization in the name of religion, ignorance of a historic landmark (unfortunately the simplicity of his life and the places he enjoyed were not preserved), and a enterprising group supporting the spectacle by selling everything under the sun, and realizing that the best business would be starting new temples. I would love to understand how they decide which deity to add, as this decides which crowd they will attract and how much they make. I guess it's a science beyond me or just plain luck which succeeds because of the number of people that come there.

We started heading back at 1 PM. The first kilometer of the drive was more painful than the walk as it took us 90 minutes. This city is definitely not equipped to handle these big crowds. If you do decide to go, try a non full moon day, and you might be able to explore the hill better.

Powerful Lesson

The 20 minute ride I have with the kids from home to school never lacks in entertainment and sometimes ( as was the case Yesterday) in education too...
S always keep a stash of her books in both cars (actually in bathrooms, under her pillow, under our bed etc.etc.) to prepare for the contingency that she may actually be cornered somewhere for a few minutes with no access to books. Yesterday on our way to school, little s promptly took one of those books and scribbled on it.
S : "Sanju...!! " (horrified expression), "I can't believe you did that, This is one of my favorite books, how dare you do that"...
s: "See Sahana...that is why I made it pretty : by coloring on it", in a very calm voice.
S: "How would you like it if I colored on one of your favorite things ?"
s : "Let's see...the kitchen set is my favorite toy"
S: "See what I do this evening, I am going to color all over it" (With absolute vengence)
s: "Okay Sahana, How about after school today we both get our paint brushes out and color on my kitchen set"
S: Clearly very dispappointed at her attempt..."Actually I am going to color on your book"
s: "But I don't really own any ...How about I buy one and then you can color on it" (Still very calm)
S bursts into tears...

Very often we ( at least I ) forget that we really do have the option to control how we feel and react to a situation. Arrows can come our way but we have the power to deflect almost all of them....

Time and Money

There was a conversation this morning about making time for exercise. Someone remarked that Barack Obama works out for 45 minutes every single day and if he can make time for exercise it is shameful that we ordinary citizens cannot. There were times when I have also followed similar reasoning, only to end up feeling quite low about my seemingly bad time management skills. Off-late equipped with more information the way my mind rationalizes has changed...
Here is a story from Hindu mythology that will hopefully help make my point. Narada, the chief devotee of Lord Vishnu grew quite haughty about the extent of his devotion to Vishnu. He goes to Vishnu one day asking him to declare Narada as his best devotee. Vishnu disgarees and takes him down to earth to the family of a poor farmer. The duo decide to spend a day with the poor farmer. The farmer spends his whole day from dawn to dusk toiling in his fields to bring home a small meal for his family. In the name of Vishnu, he is happy to share the meager meal they had with the guests at home. The next morning Narada takes the farmer aside to find out how often he worships Vishnu. The farmer says he is thankful to Vishnu for everything he has got and makes it a point to pray to him before he starts his day and at the end of the day. Narada is quite puzzled and upset with Vishnu and asks Vishnu how the farmer's chant a couple of times a day matches Narada's devotion. Vishu does not respond immediately but makes Narada go around a mountain with a pot of water on his head with the condition that he cannot let the pot drop. Narada accomplishes this with with some difficulty and a lot of concentration. Now Vishnu asks him how many times during this trip around the mountain Narada thought of him and Narada replies, "hardly once" because he was so focussed on the hard task at hand. Now Vishnu smiles and tells Narada that it is easy enough to think of him all the time when he has nothing better to do but the fact that the farmer can find time to think of him amidst his very difficult day is what makes him a better devotee.
Getting back to the point, Obama is not unique in his devotion to exercise. Bush is known for spending an hour exercizing every day. Reagan spent an hour hand replying to the letters he got. In fact, he spent a good year of his presidency at his ranch near Santa Barbara (not being a big fan of Camp David). Bill Gates and a lot of other CEOs are known for being very particular about their hobbies and their exercicise routines. In fact in that high rolling society, it is hard to survive without some predictable time everyday spent on something else. However,I would dare anyone to check with people at the lowest socio-economic stratum : someone struggling to make ends meet, unable to buy health insurance for their children and probably stradling a couple of jobs. Ever think how many of these people find time for an exercise routine? When you are all consumed by a powerful high paying job engulfed in a luxurious life, it is a no brainer to look for something which can help you "break" from the stress. On the contrary, doing the same when your very survival is at risk, when your very basic needs are not met and when your ego is crushed is a whole other story. When you do not have dishes to do, laundry to fold or that broken sprinkler to fix, your options are truly endless. I know I am not at either ends of this spectrum and it seems easy enough to extrapolate that my execrise routine is also somewhere in between. So I don't need to feel too bad right? I am exactly where I need to be...
So with all due respect to Obama and the other multi-miliionaries out there who have committed an hour of their day to the treadmill, while I am quite okay to tip my hat and give them credit for their health consciousness,don't blame me for not being blown over...I just spent my past hour cooking and cleaning for my family!!

Is eternal fame worth it?

2009 marks the 200th year of Charles Darwin and there has been a lot of media spotlight on his life, research and beliefs. I heard his biography on one such program on radio. His theory of evolution and natural selection contradicts some of the basic Christian beliefs of creationism and to this day the controversy remains. Darwin was married to a very religious wife and was worried about offending her by publishing his work and didn't for more than a decade. Then one fine day their only daughter, the focal point of their life, got sick. The couple tried everything they could and even travelled to try and make her better but she only got worse and eventually died. Her death was a huge blow to Darwin and his wife Annie, but in strange ways (or so the story goes) this brought them closer and he ended up publishing his revolutionary theory.
This narrative made me recollect some of the traumatic incidents in the early lives of other famous people (Thanks to a couple of interesting books S has). Lincoln lost his mother when he was only nine years old, Marie Curie lost her mother and her older sister within a time gap of just two years to tuberculosis, when she was barely ten. She actually watched her mom quarantined at home for about a year. Helen Keller lost her vision and hearing when she was only two years old. Whether it is Albert Eienstein, George Washington or even modern day history makers like Barack Obama, there was certainly nothing rosy about their childhood. Is this the cause of their success or is their past being put in perspective an effect of their success? Do children have to endure some amount of suffering or at the very least have something abnormal in their chilhood to become famous later? Is some amount of misery a prerequisite for eternal fame?
Okay, may be I am overeacting here...There are other famous people that have had perfectly normal lives or at least "normal" within the widely acceptable range. One thing however that seems to be universally true is, all these famous people have been extremely passionate about something even in their early lives. Something that helped them keep their focus amidst all the chaos around them and something they could take refuge in, no matter what. Famous or otherwise, may be that is what we all need to do...find that one thing in life that keeps us motivated and helps us (mentally) rise above what is around us. Something we can seek solace in or vent our frustartion with, when the world around us does not cooperate. As parents this is what we need to encourage our children to do, not for eternal fame but for eternal peace...

Ghirardheli and Globalization

Our family is a big fan of the Glirardheli's. For people not familiar with this place, they are very famous for their chocolates and have been around for over a hundres years. They are headquartered in SF, where they have this cafe near SF wharf where they sell an awesome selection of icecream and of course chocolates. I still remember the "earthquake" (A platter with your choice of 7 icecream flavors with all the toppings one could possibly imagine) we enjoyed when my sister visited us a few years ago. Needless to say, I was ecstatic when I learnt about the store in San Diego. Since that time, we made it a habit to go there for every small celebration and never miss a chance to take any of our unsuspecting SD visitors there. We typically bring back a souvenir of their hot cocoa or drinking chocolate box every time.
So it all began one evening when S wanted a mug of hot chocolate. I reached out for the box only to find barely a spoonful left. "We are out of drinking chocolate", I declared. S answered just the way I thought ( and hoped) she would, "We better go there soon and get some amma". Yes!! yet another opportunity for a family outing there!!! It so turned out that this hot cocoa situation was so bad that P felt compelled to go to Vons to pick up a replacement ( S barely drinks any milk and she typically prefers it with hot cocoa). I wasn't too alramed, what kind of a match is Hershey's to Girardheli's...this stop gap purchase isn't going to stop us...We had to go and get the "real" thing sooner or later. The same evening I looked for the box to make a mug for S fully expecting Hershey's or some such hot cocoa box but there was it was...a shiny new box of Ghirardheli hot cocoa in my cabinet!! I certainly took my time digesting that...
Our favorite Ghirardehli hot cocoa at Vons!! Coming to think of it, regular grocery stores have always carried Ghirardheli chcolates, so why should their hot cocoa be any different...I suspect they have always carried it but I never bothered to look. I truly felt let down. Where has all the uniqueness gone? Now we truly live in a world where you get everything anywhere. Advent of on-line shopping hasn't made that any better. I still remember every little thing P and I collected on our first visit to Europe. The mask from Venice, the cuckoo clock from Switzerland, statue of Paulina from Rome ...each one was special. It gives (me) immense pleasure buying something knowing you can't get it anywhere else in the world, the purchase itself marking your very presence there. Now you barely need to leave your bedroom to get items from any corner of the world. I hardly buy anything on my travel these days. The very excitement that forces you to make that "buy" decision: the pressure of "if not here you can't buy it later" just isn't there anymore. I know I can always order it on-line if I REALLY want it.Another thing I really used to enjoy is looking at "duty-free" shops at airports, now I can barely even walk through them. You basically get the same darn thing in every single duty free shop all over the world. I am not against globalization in general but sometimes I do feel that we have fallen victim to our own success...As for Glirardheli, luckily we do have a couple of milestones of S's to celebrate, so looks like it IS going to work out after all...